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Kendrick strolled along the sandy beach, sat on a rugged chair,
and mused over his life.
Am I on my way to the moksa? Can I say that? Or does it only belong
to the Hindus?
If I could only find my moksa because I'm Hindu, what about many
people who are searching for God? Do they have their own practices
which are at the end will only lead into another term of moksa or
are they different? But, if there are many different concepts, there
wouldn't be many of You, right? There is only one God, the Creator
of the Universe. He mused.
"Oh God, what should I do? Maybe I should seriously begin my
meditation. Things are just getting more confusing," he mumbled.
The more Kendrick thought about everything, the more perplexed he
became.
Kendrick gazed at a modest woman selling the beach clothes with a
bamboo basket and a small child wearing humble clothes. He was
dazzled.
There were many differences in terms of wealth. Some people were
very poor and others were amazingly rich. Why are there so many
differences in our life?
Why do some people deal with so many difficulties in this mortal
coil when others seemingly live their lives easily? Is it karma? Or
is there another reason? Did some people come to this vain world
destined to suffer? Can they change their destiny? Is it we who
really should decide our own future or is it merely in God's hands?
If it's solely in God's hands, then what about our effort? Will it
be justified that people taking too much leisure and simply
bestowing their faith in God's will?
All right, all right. I know the term ora et labora. Pray and work.
So, it must be the combination of two. But then, what can we do if
we have already prayed hard, burned ourselves out but don't get an
answer on what we are looking for? He pondered.
Kendrick looked over the moving ridge on the ocean. He inhaled the
air deeply and took out his diary from his brown backpack.
God, in my search for You, so far I only became more baffled. I knew
that not all people were confused like me. I could see from the
Mangku's radiant eyes when talking about faith that he had found the
ultimate essence of his life but God, I'm still not convinced. My
heart was still trembling inside and I took that as a sign that I
haven't found what I was looking for.
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